Only two and a half weeks in…

I’m in this really weird place right now of alternating between feeling like I’m on top of things and struggling to stay caught up. That’s partly because of Torrey; instead of the notes and pull questions that always kept me in a constant state of stress, I’m supposed to be writing for Evangelical Outpost in a way that integrates ideas from my Torrey texts, but is still good journalistic experience. 

However, while I like to think and have been told that I’m a pretty strong writer, I’m an extremely inexperienced journalist. I haven’t written for a school paper since my sophomore year of high school, I blog primarily for myself instead of geared towards an audience (I’m not sure how to write for an audience in any context other than an academic paper), and I feel that I don’t know enough about a broad enough variety of subjects to relate things to each other in the way that bloggers tend to do.

Also, I’ve never been too great at coming up with original ideas.

I am relieved and looking forward to doing this kind of work, because I think it will be much more productive in helping me develop my thoughts more than what I was doing before. But it’s going to take a LOT of God’s grace for me, as unqualified and inexperienced as I am, to pull it off.

My lack of ideas has been really the bane of my homework thus far this semester. My two journalism classes are not that homework-heavy, but they both require my weekly commentary on blogs or news articles that I follow, and I’m having trouble coming up with thoughtful things to say. I can do that when it’s thoughts on something I sought out on my own, but as an assignment, I feel like it’s almost forced creativity, which I struggle with.

That’s also why the idea of joining the staff of regular writers for a widely-read and well-known online publication intimidates me.

The theme of my sophomore (slash junior?) year seems to be humility. Not just in the broad sense that I usually think of it, but I’m realizing how much these days I need to really depend on God for even the smallest day-to-day things.

That kind of dependence is scary to me, because I like being in control of things.

Yet at the same time, it’s also such a comfort knowing that even though I’m so very incapable, I have strength through the God of the universe.

I’m pretty sure I’ve posted this verse already, but it’s just so fitting for where I am right now that I have to post it again:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. -2 Corinthians 12:9

Only two and a half weeks in…

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